• Danielle Dean

A Manifesto on Motherhood

I attended a beautiful parenting workshop a few weekends ago, where I was introduced to the earth shattering piece Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto by Brene Brown. This unveiling was honestly the catapult for the words you are about to read. I hope this brings a little bit of peace and balance to the lives of every Mama.

Motherhood - the best thing that ever happened to me and also the hardest. The juggle is constant, and I have to stay focused on taking care of myself in order to flourish as a working mama. A balance of wholesome food, herbs, time in nature, yoga and healthy sleep are the main drivers that keep me happy and able to manage the endless tasks, and allow me to extend myself a little extra (very) often. I am passionate about mothers feeling well, and the bottom line is resilience. From one mama to another, I want to remind you of a few things you deserve to do for yourself. As a mother, we have to be able to continually re-adjust our lives and schedules according to our children's needs. I encourage you to re-visit frequently the suggestions below to maintain balance for yourself. Don't cut yourself short You are a woman; you have needs just like you always did before becoming a mother. Today is a great opportunity to acknowledge what you need more of in your life to feel more wholesome, happy and fulfilled. Take steps to get these very crucial needs met - because cutting yourself short is affecting you as a mother.

Acknowledge your monkey mind Almost all of us has one or several repetitive thoughts that circle in our mind. Some common ones are about weight, money, relationships and/or worry about our health or our loved one's health. If you find yourself having repetitive worries or negative thoughts, I urge you to acknowledge them right away. If the thoughts are fear based, address the fear by asking yourself this: Is this a logical fear? Do I have physical control over this? If it is, get help! Take steps right now to get help. If the thoughts are a made up worry such as wanting to have a bigger and better house, then commit to short-circuit that thought by actively saying a positive thing about the home you live in. Re-wire your thought pattern to be proactive when needed and discard unnecessary negativity. You will feel much happier by doing this. Give yourself time

Slow down. Slow down when cooking a meal. Slow down when you eat a meal. Slow down when you hug your child. We all go through growth in various stages of our motherhood journey - slow down to absorb what you are going through and learn the lessons as you grow. The most loving thing you can do for yourself today is to breathe deep and take some time to be present with yourself - a very hard thing to do as a mother.

The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto, by Brene Brown

Above all else, I want you to know that you are loved and lovable. You will learn this from my words and actions –the lessons on love are in how I treat you and how I treat myself. I want you to engage with the world from a place of worthiness. You will learn that you are worthy of love, belonging, and joy every time you see me practice self-compassion and embrace my own imperfections. We will practice courage in our family by showing up, letting ourselves be seen, and honoring vulnerability. We will share our stories of struggle and strength. There will always be room in our home for both.

We will teach you compassion by practicing compassion with ourselves first; then with each other. We will set and respect boundaries; we will honor hard work, hope, and perseverance. Rest and play will be family values, as well as family practices.

You will learn accountability and respect by watching me make mistakes and make amends, and by watching how I ask for what I need and talk about how I feel.

I want you to know joy, so together we will practice gratitude.

I want you to feel joy, so together we will learn how to be vulnerable.

When uncertainty and scarcity visit, you will be able to draw from the spirit that is a part of our everyday life.

Together we will cry and face fear and grief. I will want to take away your pain, but instead, I will sit with you and teach you how to feel it.

We will laugh and sing and dance and create. We will always have permission to be ourselves with each other. No matter what, you will always belong here.

As you begin your Wholehearted journey, the greatest gift that I can give to you is to live and love with my whole heart and to dare greatly.

I will not teach or love or show you anything perfectly, but I will let you see me, and I will always hold sacred the gift of seeing you. Truly, deeply, seeing you.

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